On our social media we sometimes see jilted lovers calling each other out, or couples fighting publicly for the world to see.
Is this new? Not at all.
Hundreds of years before the internet, people would buy classified ads in newspapers to complain about their partners…
The first known example of someone buying an ad in a newspaper to publicly attack their spouse was way back in 1656. A Boston man named Christopher Lawson bought ads saying that “none should trust’’ his wife Elizabeth, claiming she wanted to “blemish my name and ruine my estate.”
The public’s reaction to this seems to have been that this was reasonable and actually a pretty good idea, because very soon similar ads began appearing all over North America.
The people buying the ads were remarkably diverse. Men and women alike took out the ads, as did people of different races, different religions, and in different languages. Just like social media, the ads were in a way democratic and open to all, even if they might be considered by some to be in poor taste.
While the people who wrote them were different, they were often remarkably similar.
Consider this ad which appeared in Fredericton’s Loyalist newspaper on June 26th 1843:
“CAUTION. Whereas my Wife Agnes has left my bed and board, this is to caution all persons against harboring or trusting her on my account, as I will not pay any debts of her contracting. John McLeod”
Compare that to this ad which appeared in the Royal Gazette; though quite similar, it’s actually 31 years older, from July 27th 1812:
“Caution: Whereas my wife Sarah has left my bed and board, without any just cause or complaint whatever, this is therefore to forbid trusting her on my account as I am determined to pay no debts of her accounting. Thomas Ingleby”
Lest you think this was something from the faraway past, let’s skip ahead to the age of television, of cars, to the year humans launched the first satellite into space, when this was published in The Daily Gleaner on May 4th 1957:
“To Whom It May Concern: As my wife Margaret left my bed and board without just cause, I will not be responsible for any bills contracted by her. Morton Cameron”
Hundreds of these were published over the centuries in the Maritimes alone. They often contained several repeating phrases.
There was almost always a reference to “bed and board.”
These words hint at the legal reality of life for women at the time.
A wife was not typically seen as an equal partner at the time, in the eyes of the law. She was not considered the co-owner of the house she lived in, but rather someone who lived there. A boarder is something like a tenant or a renter.
Similarly, there were warnings against “harboring or trusting” and the next reference to “not paying any debts.”
While they may sound like they were warning any potential future partners –and to be sure ruining reputations was almost certainly one goal of these ads— the authors were referring to literal financial accounts.
These lines about not being responsible were directed at innkeepers, tavern owners, shopkeepers, and businesses, and highlights the financial dependence women had on their husbands at the time. The husband is telling the world that they will not be responsible for paying for any food or lodging bills their spouse who has left them accumulates.
This isn’t to imply that all women were financially dependent on their husbands, however. By the early 1900s it is estimated that 15% of women in New Brunswick were part of the workforce. While this number might sound small today, it was actually higher than many parts of the world at the time.
While they might have lacked the legal rights men enjoyed –for example women fought for decades before they received their right to vote— New Brunswick women had a strong independent streak, and often retaliated with their own ads.
Take for example this remarkable response by a woman who was called out by her husband in an ad, which was printed in the New Brunswick Reporter on May 7th 1879:
“Whereas Barney O’Neill, of Tay Creek, York Co. has cautioned against trusting me on his account, I hereby caution all parties from trusting said Barney O’Neill, on my account as the Farm, Stock and Implements belong to me. I had just cause and provocation for leaving which will be proven at the proper time. As for me leaving his bed, I believe he had one feather bed of his own; but I can vouch he had no board until he came to me. … All I want is justice and justice I shall have. Anna O’Neill”
The ads highlight how people could be trapped in unhappy relationships.
Limited opportunities to meet, to get to know, and especially to live with people of the opposite gender before marriage meant couples often made lifelong legal commitments before really even knowing each other or realizing whether or not they were actually compatible matches.
And divorce was rarely, if ever, permitted in the Maritimes.
The following quote is from one judge’s ruling on why a New Brunswick couple, both of whom were mutually seeking a divorce, were not allowed to break up:
“Between the two parties there is little respect of comfort and happiness, mutual disgust had taken the place of affection and that though both parties may be desirous of being freed from a yoke so hard to bear, such circumstances do not warrant a divorce.”
Once we realize that many couples were condemned by law to spend their lives with people they did not want to be with; perhaps these fights in the classified ad section of newspapers makes more sense.
These ads would keep appearing in our local newspapers well into the 1960s, and even into the 1970s.
